A WOMEN AGED 19 DECIETS DAVID AGED 51

“I thank Her Lord worship Justice Catherine Bamugemereire for the four year sentence, it changed my mindset and at the same time built the lady I am, although I last saw her in court, I would be glad to present to her my four kids, she put brains in me.” Says Shanita.

After a period of 9 to 10 years down the road, socialite Shanitah Namuyimbwa alias Bad Black narrates her fraudulent scandal like a full blast drama series, although she now lives in a luxurious life with a 23 year old man Bijjabigereke Asher alias Asher Panda, guilt still haunts her.

Her come back was never expected by revealers for the court had taken all the property she had gained from frauding old David Green Halgh, a married British businessman from Burgess Hill, West Sussex, England and a father of two.

“ I lost everything, the court took all the properties I had garnered from the wealth of my man, I went out of prison a bankrupt but proud Shanitah” Black says.

It would require a great deal of brain storming to realistically understand how a girl at 19 years managed to seduce a billionaire from a prostitute to a house mistress. But since men are also born with vulnerabilities, David hardly noticed Shanitah was a swindler.

Black explains in June 2009 at the Rock Gardens in Speke Hotel, in central Kampala, she met David Greenhalgh, The two developed a mutual attraction and exchanged telephone numbers. Later they had drinks and spent the night together after negotiating and agreeing on a price. ($1000). She adds that it took her time to realize David was a billionaire not until he continued giving her more and more.

A CHANGE OF HEART
“Meddie is a dealer, he is slow but sure, he talks less but too aggressive in action, he seduced me in one day and we ended in bed on the same day, I have a feeling he might be a witch. Haahahah I cherished that dog and even nicknamed him Inai, sweat Inai”, she narrates.

Meddie Ssentongo, she had nicknamed him sweat Inai

Meddie Ssentongo a self proclaimed big spender by then met Black through a friend Dorothy. Dorothy told Meddie of how Black had a white man flashing dollars and Meddie saw it wise to corn her into an affair so that they run off with more moolah. Black briskly admired Meddie and fell into each other but retained David.
“Show that fool love, Ba Bye”. Meddie always told Black.

Being a foreign based pleasure seeker, David only came to Uganda for a few days in a month, they have a good time they he flies back. Meddie used Black as a mediator to get money as Black requested money from David, Meddie would also get his share.
“ I was afraid of Meddie, he had a pistol which he at one time pointed at me when I told him I was his boss, he told me never to demean him again”. Black says quietly.

Meddie was a real corn man, he rented a house near Blacks residence but never let her notice it, he always used spies in hotels, bars and all chilling places to rack up information on Shanitah. At the peak of it, he drew a plan to dig big chunks of money out of David. This entirely changed the story.

DAVID WAS TOLD THE AN UNTRUTH.
Shanitah and Meddie planned out a sham DaviShan Company Limited dealing in real estate, David was to share 75% and Black 25%. They opened up an account and poor David continuously wired money to it for the company to run.

“She says the baby is mine, but I even do not believe it is” David said.

“The whole company was a lie, me, Meddie and seven others including a worker at Bank of Uganda drunk and ate the money, and I don’t regret, I was too naive, I fall in a pit of dollars that’s why I didn’t work for men who use UGX currency, Baali bawunya” Shanita rants.

Meddie did the paper work to send to David, one of them was in charge of security, Shanitah had access to the money being a signatory to the account, the one in Bank of Uganda had a task to process the transactions without suspicion, others were wannabes, well wishers and handbags. As Greenhalgh had stocked USh11 billion (US$3,824,130 at that time), Black always withdrew the money from the bank account of Davishan Development Uganda and shared it among themselves. David wanted to prove the existence of the project but Black kept on extending the dates.

“ When I had David had filed a suite against me for conspiracy and fraud, I feared a lot but then this morale of being a socialite made me more aggressive and I even denied the charges having it at the back of my minds that I was guilty ”. Shanitah says proudly.

Shanitah was sentenced to a four years imprisonment after Justice Catherine Bamugemereire proved her guilty. While in prison Black says she had her fun base which upon seeing her yield, (Yooyo owaffe Black ow’etabbu).

I AM AN EMBEZZLER, YOU TAP ME I TAP YOU.

Immediately after Shanitah went out of jail, she was totally bankrupt but proud, she had no where to leave but her experience in sex working threw her in a two roomed house of a carpenter Abdul in Kyanja.

“Abdul was a poor man but saved me from shame, he made me his house wife and wanted to marry me but never would I marry a carpenter, me Shanitah, once a mogul always a mogul”, she says.

Abdul the carpenter thought he had met the lady of his life time and even chased his other wife away for Shanitah’s sake. Little did he know that Psychology says people who love black colour have colourful minds, it was impossible for a once famous lady to end up with a Kyanja ku bbiri guy.

“ As I was with Abdul, a friend told me Brian White wanted me urgently, Imagine I even had no transport money to go there but I had to improvise ”, she adds.

Namuyimbwa told Abdul she was going to see an old friend and Abdul dressed her like a moslem to puzzle her appearance, she bordered a motorcycle to Brian a well known rich socialite by then. Of course Brian wanted Shanitah’s services.

“Hey first give me $3000 to renew my self” Black told Brian even before serving him since she was hungry for money. She pulled all the style hence forcing Brian to buy for her the first I phone in life and also a Mark II car. Brian was really well served.
I called Abdul and told him to hell with his humble life, he told me how the ghosts of his ancestors had liked me but I told him your ghosts are stupid”, Shanitah adds.
Abdul refused to give her clothes which she regained back with forcefully means using Brian’s body guards. This gave Shanitah a come back after which she fled to Malaysia on Brian’s money and swindled it until she could suck no more.
Yours truly,
KABUULWA MUZAFALUH
Credit: Ibra K Mukasa

DADDIES AND HARD CORNS WERE THERE FOR US.

Daddies

“How many kilograms of daddies and hard corns should I fry for you” says Mother presumes.

These are official questions I always waited from my mother in either back to school times or visitation days. A package to school would never count if it lacked these edibles. Exclusively, the international school kids might have not heard good times with daddies and hard corns, but the local students and bona basome can testify.

These edibles were saviours in all hard times, if you kept them from robbers. They would earn you a great deal of friends whose affections increase when you open your suit/metallic case to carry some for the day. The fact that they are flexible, some primary kids feel the sweetness of keeping them in their pockets then eventually pick one at a time, this at times makes the audience salivate hence becoming beggars (mpaako mpaaako).

Locations of consuming these edibles would be; under the blanket for gluttons, public for the “even if you beg we don’t serve”, lesson time for knowledgeable when the teacher is facing the blackboard.

Hardcorns

Although hard corns would have high chances of getting you caught since they make loud noise when chewing. I bet you can’t silence the noise. The worst part of it all, these edibles could earn you hatred from the ones who don’t have them and those you refused to share with.

They were there for us, me and you, sincerely, haven’t you ever made these statements; some, give me some, only three kale.

LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND

Wuliriza era otegeere

Like a manual car, you ignite it, press the clutch, give it commands (gears), release the clutch gradually while pressing the accelerator, the car will start moving (it has listened) Unless it fails, then it didn’t understand some commands.

Most people listen to reply but they don’t listen to understand. Paying attention to detail makes you well vast with what some one is speaking unless they are inaccurate. Even before someone finishes to speak, a fellow is already thinking of what to reply, at most the reply is incomplete and barely rhymes with the former’s compliment. It usually becomes hard for us to listen and understand because of various factors. At times you hate the communicator, you are busy scrolling down on your phone, you think the communication is irrelevant, you are in a rush to go/do something, tired, hate his/her appearance, jealous of his/her attire, etc.

This makes you sum up the replies even when your replies are 70% negative hence loosing interest in the discussion.

Someone who listens to understand makes use of their brains or note book to store compliments, they put the phone away, make eye contact, body reactions like smile( not a fake smile), temporarily put aside the negativity they have or feel and deeply fall In with the Speaker until he/she is done. Although some people have a short attention span.

You either reply if need be or keep silent or ask if you are ignorant about the topic and go make research. Taking things personal makes your argument biased, less you portray your positivity and negativity in the reply.

DAMIAN THREW ME OUT

“Did any one tell you this is your mum’s office, if you need the stamp, come back tomorrow at 9:30 or never”.
I felt as though this deputy RDC was an angry rejected Western man in Russia, Western men are supermodels in Russia and can easily walk away with any lady of there choice without being asked dinner, promises and money.
As for the ripe elections of 2020 in Uganda, it was mandatory for voters to have a national identity card which I didn’t have. As I checked from my mobile phone (Samsung Galaxy s6 by then) using the 216 code, it indicated that I had to feed in more information with NIRA.
It was not habitual for me to wake up at 7:00 as I used to at 8:30, but this time I had made an appointment with Sowedi the GISO of Mityana on a cold phone call to guide me on what to do. I hardly threw the blanket off my body, cleaned myself and then wore a white cotton shirt with a pair of black Jean’s and black moccasins.
As I left for the appointment, someone inside could be a relative shouted, “Who are you wearing those clothes for?”, I replied quietly as why the hell don’t you just say am smart.
Sowedi’s office was an internet café with scattered computers, misplaced wires, and dust all over the place except he’d left a small wooden table and plastic chair in the corner for himself. He was a joyful and social man although he Commercialized every service.
He gave me a paper to sign on as he wrote down the names of the deputy RDC (Resident District Commissioner) on a paper. “Go to him at the district headquarters, he needs to sign here and also put a stamp. After you take the envelope to NIRA offices”. As I moved out, He shouted, “ Young man put 10k on that table or leave the envelope here”. I gradually dropped a crumpled 10000 shillings note on his table as I asked myself where this man had applied effort, but I recalled beggars are not choosers.
I reached Damian’s office at 9:00, his secretary gave me a seat, she was indulgent, slim, light skinned and tall. She walked to the door and knocked. “You have someone here, he is a young boy”, I felt uncomfortable for calling me a young boy as though she never saw my mustache as I moved inside.
Damian had an even skin tone, it was as though he had gotten the opposite out of bleaching or less a skin disease. “What can I help you with ”, as he looked down on his phone. I said quietly. I have been sent by the GISO Mr. Sowedi to bring this document which requires your stamp and signature, I am applying for the national identity card.
He looked uncomfortable, he picked up his phone and called someone as he told me he had no time, Yiiii this man had no time to sign and stamp on the document and the best he could say is, “Come back tomorrow ” I explained to him how I had travelled 20kms and yet it was costly, he just looked at me. I thought he wanted a ransom but then how do I start giving it to him, he is paid by me through the tax we collect. As I continued contemplating he shouted “Get your envelope and disappeared I hate seeing you here” As though he had seen me before.

I will have your time tomorrow 😡

I ran back to the secretary to know when the RDC will be around, “He will be around within 30 minutes ” As I sat tight, my brains couldn’t go off Damian, Was he hungry? Did he want money? Was his salary late? Or it were his wife quarreling at him since his face changed as he picked his phone, I tried to eavesdrop it but the best I could hear was a woman’s voice.
Later on, a fat man with big belly and squared jaws came in as the secretary prepared her self to greet him, he was the RDC, I prayed my presence would catch his attention and boom he drew near me. “How can I be of help, you seem to have wait for long, and let me have a look at those documents” After reading through, he walked to his office as I followed and served me as he said “Have a nice day”. As I approached the door, he called me silently, “Next time you come and am not around, next is my deputy’s officer he can be of help as well ”. I hurriedly retorted he is a rough and arrogant, he chased me out of his office as he told me he had no time for signing and stamping. The RDC(Resident District Commissioner) was troubled with my response. Of course what would he do, I seemed not to be the first victim.
Sowedi called me as I got on my bike, “By the way be careful, Damian is arrogant and extravagant, a Marie Antoinette enthusiast”. I saw his call as useless since I had already seen the worst.

HOW I COOLED MY TEMPER

Is temper naturally born in every human being?. Every person has there own way of cooling down, it could be laughing, punching the wall, destroying what’s next to them, walking away and many more controllers. Perhaps it could be hard for them to resist the temper. This is where I used to fall.
“You easily get short tempered, how will you problem solve matters with your wife, you need to do away with it as soon as possible ”, my mum always made this statement.
I would just be angry at someone or something, and like rain, it drizzles first then heavily pours down, my temper used to increase gradually like sweltering heat and before I realize it, I already cause danger to the source. I recall the first phone I held, a gadget from my hustle, I treasured it a lot. it would hardly get off my hands, Eventually I threw it in the toilet, it was a Friday evening when I got it out my pocket, held it in my hands and bought a data package, hardly had I bought the data when the network connectivity barely processed. I tried refreshing browsers and restarting my phone but there was no progress, my heart pumped at a high speed, spider veins enlarge, electronic pulses were all over my body, I stood up with no hesitation and destroying it was the only option I had.
I personally realized this anger would cause me more harm because you would hardly shout at me and I don’t retort, although I was decent , I had this weird arrogant attitude. I always felt the urge to disinfect my self from every sort of familiarity and jokes, which made me antisocial.
You would wonder how my temper never dropped me into fights, but anyway I knew my limits, fighting was the last thing I thought of although I only landed into one fight and I was terribly beaten up.

Eventually, I realized this had to come to an end, at one time a friend told me how disgusting I looked when quarrelling, Joe told me temper was not my thing and urged me to choose silence or let it go. Although it seems to be simple advice, I digested it into my head and learnt a lot from it, this became a rhythm in my amygdala.
Although i rarely get short tempered as of now, I struggle as hard to walk away, stay silent, or tell a friend about it rather than flexing my muscles.
You would be a short tempered person, how do you cool yourself down?

SEND YOUR LOCATION


“Send me your location, am sending the bodaboda guy to deliver your package“, says Peter a shoe seller at Nana in Kampala.
The breakout of Covid19 boosted the digitalization of markets, the Sops by the government emphasized less movements, most of all the work was to be done online and the customers expected to receive purchased products delivered at their homes. Although digital marketing already developed in foreign countries, my country Uganda has still had a low usage with the Ugandan say that they believe after seeing and touching, it would be hard for a Uganda to trust his fellow with money to deliver a product. But with the social dynamics, this had to gradually become history.
As I scroll down my Instagram page @K.l.muzafar, my eyes land on Peter’s digitalized shoe shop, with all these nice looking shoes and sandals, it was too tantalizing, you would not leave without purchasing something unless your broke. I desired to walk away with one pair of shoes which had no prices indicated, but a contact for inquiries, I decided to call for inquiry and Peter whose name I knew later picked up, “Yes boss, if you want that shoe, it’s for 85000/=, but since you seem to be a bro, I will serve you at 80000/=, for sure that’s the right price boss, mukama wange, Don, big boss”, narrates Peter.
I was too amused with how Peter was giving me titles in just 5 minutes of an online chat, but had it in mind that those were there usual tricks. The shoe was worth 70000 and having known that they also make free deliveries, it went back to my mind that the extra 10000/= was for transportation. I then sent him the location and my heart started having this periodic pain of expectancy as I gazed at my watch counting down the 30 minutes Peter had given me.
The next thing I see is a phone call from an unknown person, I picked it up with all my inner happiness, “I am David the transporter, where are you”, he says. I then rushed to find him at the designated delivery point, he gave me a black polyethylene bag, well sealed with brown seal tape, I gently moved back to my 4 sided room and said Bismillah then tore the seal tape, 😕 Yiiii, I yelled, my heart pumped at a high speed, I really felt betrayed, the product was the opposite of what I saw online, the shoe had a wide toe cap and an exaggerated sole with many labels. I then wondered how Nike, Balenciaga, Van’s and Puma would merge to make a shoe for 80000/=.

Sitted on the ground, my head leaning against my palm, the other hand holding a receipt indicating once goods are sold, they are not returned, I was out of options. Peter’s phone became allergic to my phone calls immediately after delivery as it told me he was a busy man, my amplified interest for online shopping dropped, I imagined purchasing goat rice on jumia food, food hub etc. and all they deliver is a recipe equivalent to kikumi kikumi restaurant, 2500 mmere yonna menu.
Online shopping would be the way forward in digital marketing but it comes with mixed feelings. At times, you get the opposite of what you saw in the pictures. Vendors should value their customers, I don’t deserve to be fooled with a four to five branded shoe of 80000/= out of my hustle, because if I am to land on Peter the busy man now, simanyi nakumanya. You should then be cautious when purchasing online, their should be an option of returning the product once its delivered with damages, opened, faulty, and duplicated. Buli omu agumye munne.

THERE IS SOMEONE IN A DDIRO ONLY

Inequality hardens society into a class system, eventually it divides us from one another. With the outbreak of Covid19, a ddiro only person suffers the worst, with the four sided house, it might have a sealing or not, so you must be ready to either buy a fan or use different household items like plates, flying pans or a book to cool the temperature. The first time I owned a single roomed rental, it doomed to my minds that really people have seen the worst. It had this usual pale blue or white painted walls, insects and rats roaming after you switch off the lights, literally the entrance happens to be the exit, which indicates no room for survival, and in case of any emergency ofaaaa..😢.

I always heard of this say that rentals have a great deal of nasty things until when I had a daily interlude of my fellow rentals quarrelling, The husband wants to listen to Sebata and Kafeero songs yet the wife is a darling to David Lutalo’s melodies, “ I am the man in the house, if you hate Kafeero’s songs go rent somewhere else and listen to your fake lutalos……”, says the husband.
As you read this now, someone is in a ddiro only facing these surprises, he/she has no place for relaxation, it’s all a hustle, the outside environment is well demarcated, you can not exceed your boundaries unless you are ready for an endless crossfire with other rentals choosing sides to woe the quarrels. Almost every thing is capable of starting off a cold or physical war.

Since they are single roomed, someone right now can hardly breathe because of the aroma from the neighbour’s saucepan and at worst it might be the darling sauce of rentals mukene which is sweat but reeks like Rubigi sewage.
Someone is now laying on there bed, looking in the East, West, south, north and nothing is new except what he/she creates for themselves.

Real estate database

A rental might either be your worst or best experience, because some people enjoy it, they will always make sure they have a woofer, stove, one chair, a carpet and the blue, red or bright light to make the place earth paradise (Okwegumya). This inequality that presides between our lives makes us unbalanced at every level of development which comes our way.
Someone must see to it that they survive the hardships of renting and have themselves construct the house of their dreams. Rentals would be advisable for matters of future steady progress because of their unrecognized advantages; you won’t have rampant visits even when you want them hence reduced expenditure, the system of housing relatives which is good but costly is unheard of hence making you out of the option list for everyone’s demands, you limit your expenditure to your wife and children.
Hey my dear reader, am still renting, my ddiro only is at an average price of 130000/= to 200000/= Ugandan shilling per month. But soon or later, transformation seems to follow me.

Surviving In Uganda.


Getting through the double edged standards of living in Uganda is a bit sensitive. There are certain commitments that you have to make in order to suffer from success. Although surviving might be theorised in different aspects for the privileged, middle class and the poverty stricken, the society at large works hard to pull through the daily ups and downs in bid for a comforting life.
If you are to get through in Uganda, the endless appetite of Rolex and Kikomando should be a great deal, You should even exceed requirements to make friends with the chapatti guy for credits in times of insufficiency.
For matters of earning yourself relevant Connections learn some Runyankore and Runyakitara, Attach it with a dress code of a polo shirt and kachi pants. Stabilise your engagement with community saving groups, even when you hardly save, try to show your attendance, visibly, you will get a loan easily and support with unpredicted complications.
Never marry at an early age, for a man, ought to be a miser, and for a woman adorn yourself. Try not to tamper with government issues, unless it’s financially beneficial. and if you join politics, establish yourself, even when you work hard people are ungrateful.
Keep it in mind that Kampala is not a mere collection of buildings, all negative eyes on you. Create a business, have discipline, get influencers and make give outs and discounts
After you acquire those necessities, Uganda will become your land of milk and honey.

Introduce Yourself (Example Post)

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

  • Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
  • Because it will help you focus your own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.